Painful love!
by EmmaShalforever
Summary: Emma is confused about Shal. Will it be a happy ending? ES based. Rating may go up in the future.
1. Default Chapter

Painful love!

Disclaimer: As always; not mine.

Pairing: Emma/Shalimar

AN: The _italics _are when someone thinks/speaks to themselves.

-

Emma lay in her bed. She hadn't been able to sleep and was trying to read a book, hoping it could make her sleepier. Suddenly a wave of emotions hit her. First it was excitement that made her whole body respond to it. Then it was quickly replaced with sorrow and pain so strong that she had to fight back her tears. Just as suddenly as the emotions had appeared, the feelings banished and left her struggling for oxygen. After a few minutes she managed to regain enough control of her body to slowly rise and walk towards the door. _Jesus Christ, what the hell was that ?_ She fumbled trying to open the door. _Jesse and Brennan are most likely sleeping at this hour, so that only leaves Shalimar or Adam. I guess my pick is on Shalimar. _She walked the short way over to Shalimar's room and carefully knocked at the door. If those emotions where coming from Shal she didn't want any of the guys to barge in and disturb. She carefully opened the door and peeked in.

"Shal, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Emma stepped inside and closed the door silently. "I was trying, but it didn't work so I was reading."

"I see. I was just going to sleep myself."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Emma slightly arched her eyebrows, shoving Shalimar that she was concerned about her. "Not to sound negative or accusing or anything, but I picked up some very strong feelings and it seemed to be coming from you."

"Are you reading me?" Shalimar quickly sat up in bed with a threatening expression that made Emma stiffen.

"No, I was lying in my bed when your emotions hit me and I couldn't block them out."

Shalimar let out a sight which told Emma that Shal didn't really buy it even though it was the truth.

"I just wanna help you Shalimar. I want you to trust me."

"Yeah, everybody wants me to trust them."

"I didn't mean-"

"Sorry, I didn't mean that. I'm just a little upset; you know how I can be."

"Yeah," Shal could hear Emma's hurt voice.

"Seriously Em, it wasn't directed towards you. I know I can trust you, I'm just a little confused right now."

Emma looked into her friends eyes, and saw how sorry she was for saying that.

She walked over to the bed and sat down next to Shalimar, putting her hand on her shoulder.

"Well, why don't you tell me what you're confused about and then maybe I can help!"

Shal looked down at the floor. "I don't think you can help me Emma."

"If you won't tell me then I can't help you." She stood up and was about to leave when Shalimar asked in shock: "That's it? Are you leaving already? I thought you would dig deeper if you didn't find out."

Emma turned, a wicked smile covering her face. "Do you want me to dig deeper?"

Shal looked slightly confused. "I'm just so used to you not giving up."

"I'm tired and that's not the best time for any guessing games Shal." She suddenly looked serious. "I really want to help you, but if you won't let me in then there's really nothing I can do."

"Shalimar sighted. " I just don't think you can help me with this one Emma."

"Try me."

Shalimar fumbled with the bed sheets, clearly nervous. "Fine. I think that I kinda have feelings about someone on the team."

Emma smiled and sat down beside Shalimar.

"Really? Who is it?"

"I can't tell you."

"Okay, then why don't you tell this person how you feel?"

"Because I don't know if that person is feeling the same for me."

"And when did that ever stop you from following your intuition."

"As soon as I found out that I really liked this person. I mean, when I follow my instincts is mostly because I feel an attraction in a sexual way, but it's deeper than that with this person. It's more than just physical attraction, it's like…like-"

Shalimar looked deep into Emma's eyes and Emma could feel that something was different. Shalimar's eyes burned into her own and she felt her whole body starting to burn with her. She was just about to say something when Shalimar spoke. "I think that I'm in love Emma, I think that I love this person and that is a new feeling for me. I just don't know what to do about it."

They stayed silent looking at each other for a little while and Emma started to feel that she had to get away or at least say something to ease the awkwardness.

She cleared her throat. "Ahem…If you really feel that strong for this person then I think you should definitely tell him. I'm feeling kind of tired, so I'll just get back to my room and try to get some sleep." She rose quickly.

"Em, are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's just late and I could really need some sleep. You should try to sleep too."

"I will."

Goodnight."

"Uh, goodnight."

Emma hurried out of Shalimar's room desperate to get away so she could think about what had been said and nevertheless what had been felt when she talked to Shalimar.

-

AN2: please R R. Did you like it? This is actually just the first chapter, but I don't know if it's any good? Please tell if you want more…Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

AN: The _italics _are still when somebody thinks/speaks to themselves.

-

Emma shut the door tight when she got into her own room and lay down on her bed. _What is going on? I must be starting to lose control of my powers. Shal can't possibly be talking about me, that's crazy. Or maybe I'm the one starting to go crazy? Shal is not a lesbian, and neither am I. Why am I even thinking about this? I can't possibly start to think about my friend this way, my girlfriend, a woman. Oh God, why did my body start to get excited when she was so close to me if I don't think of her as anything other than a friend? I really need to see Adam and make him check if there's something wrong with me. _She got up and practically ran to the lab.

"Adam, Adam I need you to check something."

"Emma, are you okay?"

"No, I think something is wrong with me, with my powers. I think I'm starting to lose control."

"Okay, I'll scan you right away."

"Thank you."

-

"So, is anything wrong with me?"

"No, everything seems to be fine. What exactly made you think that something was wrong? You looked about ready to faint."

"Oh, I don't really know. I guess I just freaked out."

"Well, what did you freak out about?"

"I was just thinking about something, I'm fine now. I'll get to bed again, I'm tired."

Emma started walking, but was stopped by Adam taking her arm.

"You know you can talk to me if there is anything, right?"

"I know, but I'm fine really, just tired."

"Okay, then I hope you will rest and get some sleep."

"I will." Emma walked out of the room. _Like I'm going to get any sleep now._

-

Emma sat in a chair with a cup of coffee when Shalimar walked into the room. Shalimar looked better than Emma had seen her for a long time, or maybe it was just the fact that Emma hadn't really noticed her before now. She couldn't stop looking at Shalimar and followed every move she made. _God, I'd bet she would look hot if she took that jacket off and it would be even better if she decided to take of her top as well. No, wait, what am I thinking._

Shalimar could feel Emma stare at her, following her every move. She turned so she could look into Emma's eyes and was surprised to find the empath blushing. She tried to hold Emma's gaze, but she just looked away and stood up.

"Morning, Em."

"Morning," she mumbled brushing past Shalimar to fill up her coffee.

Shal turned around after her and saw the other team members walk into the room.

"Good morning girls," they all greeted before settling themselves down.

Shalimar walked over to Emma who was just pouring coffee into her cup.

"How was your night? Did you get any sleep?" Emma looked up and into Shalimar's eyes.

"No, I didn't." She didn't take her eyes of the feral.

"I think you need to stop pouring coffee."

"What?"

"Your cup is full, you're spilling it."

"Oh God, I'm sorry." Emma started blushing again and looked completely helpless and confused. Shal got some paper and started to dry up the coffee.

"Emma, are you okay?" Adam had risen and Emma noticed the others staring at her.

"I…I'm fi...fine, just exhausted. I didn't get any sleep."

"Well, then I suggest you try to sleep now," Adam said with a worried look. "I'll follow you."

Adam walked off with Emma.

The others had a worried look. "What do you think is wrong with her?" Brennan asked.

"I don't know, Bren. What do you think Shalimar?"

"Huh…Oh, I don't know."

"Why do we get the feeling that you're not telling us everything?" Both Brennan and Jesse looked demanding at Shalimar.

She just gave them an innocent smile. "I told you I don't know anything. If you guys could excuse me I'll go see How Emma is doing, see if there's anything I can do for her." She walked of as Brennan shouted after her:" That's great. Do you always have to make us look like unconcerned men?"

"No, but I have to make you look like the stupid boys you are."

Brennan turned to Jesse. "Can you believe her?"

"Girls. Do you want to play basket?"

"Sure."

-

Emma walked into her room and watched Adam close the door after them.

"I don't wanna talk about it, Adam."

"Are you sure? I mean, this is not normal for you. Is it your powers that are bothering you or is it something personal?"

"I already told you I don't wanna talk about it." She was starting to get irritated at how everybody always seemed to nag her about the way she was feeling.

"I just think that you need to talk to somebody because of your powers Emma. I've told you many times before that it's not good for you to keep all your feelings inside."

"I know Adam, but this is not about a strangers feelings okay, this is personal."

"Then I think it's even more important that you talk about it. If you won't talk to me then talk to someone else, like Shalimar. I'm sure she would understand you."

Emma's face paled when Adam mentioned Shalimar. "Emma, are you okay?"

"If you could excuse me I'd like to be left alone right now."

"Okay." He turned and left, but before he closed the door he said: "Talk to someone Emma, it will help." Then he was gone.

Emma sighed and tossed herself on the bed. _Yeah Emma, talk to Shalimar. Tell her that you think she has a thing for you and that you might have a thing for her too. Who am I kidding, that's not going to happen. _She bounced when there was a sharp knock at the door. "Who is it?"

"It's me, Shal. I wanna talk to you. Can I come in?"

"Leave me alone."

Shal simply opened the door and walked in."Thanks."

"What do you want?"

"I want to know why you're acting strange."

"It's nothing. I'm fine."

"Yeah? How long are you going to lie to me, huh?"

"As long as I feel like it."

Both girls were starting to get angry and Shal had started to raise her voice.

"You know, sometimes I just don't get you Emma. You always want us to tell you what's wrong, but refuses to tell us anything when something happens to you."

Emma was silent. She knew it was the truth.

"So, has this anything to do with last night?" Shal's voice was calmer now.

Emma didn't answer so Shalimar took that as a yes. She walked over to the bed and sat down, looking at Emma.

"I thought there was something strange about you last night. What happened?"

"I…I felt something."

"You felt what?"

"I don't know. I'm still confused."

"What are you confused about Emma?" Shalimar moved closer.

"I…it's…" Emma couldn't speak as Shal moved even closer to her, their noses almost touching. Shal leaned in and just when she was about to kiss Emma there was a knock on the door.

"Emma, Shalimar. Are you guys okay?"

-

End of chapter 2

Read and review, plz!

Thanks to huntress who always praises me. blushing you're the reason I keep writing.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3!

AN: The _italics _are the same as before.

-

Shalimar moved away from Emma.

"We're fine, Brennan." Brennan opened the door and walked in.

"We heard you guys fighting."

We weren't fighting, just arguing." Shalimar flashed him an innocent smile.

"Yeah, whatever. Adam wants to talk to you, and he told me to tell you," he looked at Emma," to try to get some sleep."

"Right, I'll go talk to him. I'll see you two later." She gave Emma a wicked smile before walking out of the room.

Brennan looked at Emma who still sat in the bed. "You get some sleep, okay?"

"I'll try." She faked a smile before lying down, putting the covers around her.

She heard Brennan leave and close the door.

-

Shalimar was walking slowly towards the lab; not wanting to rush what she knew was to come.

_Damn, he always has bad timing. We were so close, so close and now everything is spoiled. I need to talk to Emma again, privately. It would have been so perfect, but now maybe she regrets it and want to pretend it never happened! Since she obviously knows how I feel about her I'm gonna have to ask her if she feels the same. God, this is so hard, and embarrassing._

"Hey, Shal"

"Adam!"

"I want to talk to you about Emma and her behaviour."

"She has acted strange for less than 24 hours and you're already worried!"

"Shal, this is serious. It's not like Emma to be like that."

"I know Adam, but hopefully everything will be fine."

"Since your saying that, I assume you know what's wrong?"

"I have a pretty good idea, yeah. But I'm not gonna tell you, if that's what you think!"

"No, I didn't think you would either. I just wanted to tell you that I think she needs you right now, she needs to talk to someone."

"Oh, you have no idea."

"What?"

"Nothing. Is that all?"

"Yes, I guess it is."

"Okay then, I'll go work out for a while."

"Just don't wear yourself out."

"I won't."

-

Emma couldn't rest. She really, really tried, but her body and mind just refused to relax even though she was exhausted. _This just isn't going to work. _She stood up and walked out of her room. At first she walked around without purpose, but after a while she could sense an overwhelming calmness floating in the air, immediately knowing it came from Shalimar. She followed the emotion and stopped at a corner, peeking out.

She saw Shalimar doing kata. She found herself looking at Shalimar's body movements, improper images flowing through her head.

"So how long are you gonna stand behind the wall?"

Emma quickly walked fully into the room. She had totally forgotten that Shalimar could sense a person long before seeing him.

"Eh, I just wasn't sure you wanted to be disturbed."

"Hah, that's a good one. Why aren't you sleeping?"

"Wasn't tired."

"Now you're lying again."

Well, I just can't sleep no matter how hard I try."

"And it's my fault right?"

"Kinda." Emma tried to give her a sorry look.

"You know maybe we should just talk about it and get it over with."

"Talk about what?"

"The you and me thing. The thing that was about to happen when Brennan disturbed."

"Oh, that thing. Yeah, do you think we could do it somewhere a little more private?"

"Sure, let's go to your room."

"Okay."

Neither woman moved, so Shalimar took the initiative and walked past Emma who followed. Shal could feel Emma's stare, but didn't mind it. She smiled to herself, maybe this could end well after all!

-

End of chapter 3.

AN2: I think the next chapter should end it, maybe…

Read and review, please.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

AN: wanna thank huntress for the review of chapter 3. You are completely right, I can't end it here. I guess that means more chapters!

-

They walked inside Emma's room and Shalimar locked the door behind them. Emma sat down on the bed. _Shit, she locked the door. That means it's harder to get away if I need to. I don't know if I can do this, I'm not ready. I don't even know how I feel about her and we are supposed to talk about it. This is not going to be good. Please don't screw it up Emma, just stay calm. _

Both women sat in silence, Emma on her bed and Shalimar in a chair. They could feel the tension between them, but nobody talked because they didn't really know where to start.

It was Shalimar who finally spoke up. "Emma, I don't really know where to start, it's just…I mean…What exactly did you feel last night from me?" Emma looked into Shalimar's eyes and she saw confusion.

"I felt…I'm not quite sure really. I felt pain and, uh, excitement." She started blushing when she said the last word.

"And you have been acting crazy because of that?"

"No, it's not just that." Emma felt shameful and looked down at the floor.

"Then what is it?" Shalimar walked over to Emma and sat down beside her.

Suddenly Emma turned and stared deep into Shalimar's eyes. "I'm not ready."

"You're not ready for what, sweetie?"

"I'm not ready for this, for us. I'm not ready to admit it and besides it would be a bad idea because of the boys."

"What do you mean? This has nothing to do with the others-"

"It has everything to do with the others. Adam told us to not get personally involved with someone on the team, and we both know Brennan has a thing for you. I thought you had a thing for him too?"

"I don't."

"I just…I need time to think about it, okay?" She didn't wait for an answer but run over to the door, unlocking it before Shalimar had time to react, and then run of.

Shalimar sat and stared blankly at the door, not quite sure what had just happened.

_Damn it, Shal. You really screwed up this one. You shouldn't have been pushing her like that. You seriously need to make it up to her somehow, show her that you don't want to rush her into anything._

-

Emma ran through Sanctuary. On her way past the lab, she bumped into Adam. He grabbed her arm. "Emma what's wrong?"

"I just need some time alone."

She ripped her arm loose and continued running. She ran out of Sanctuary and stopped when she felt the fresh air. She took several deep breaths before starting to walk towards the strand.

-

Shalimar walked into the lab. "Hi Adam. Have you seen Emma?"

"Yes, she rushed past here a few minutes ago. She said she needed time alone."

"Right. Any idea where she went?"

"No. You can try contacting her on her com link though."

"And if she doesn't answer?"

"Then trace it."

"Alright, thanks." Shalimar hurried out.

Adam sighed. There was definitely something going on, but he couldn't understand what it was. He just hoped everything would be fine soon. He needed a team that could work together, and was 100 healthy.

-

"Hey, Jesse can you trace Emma's ring for me?"

"Why, is something wrong?"

"No, Adam just asked me to do it so we can be sure she is alright."

"Okay, just give me a sec."

"Ok Shal, She seems to be right outside, down by the water."

"Thanks." She started walking.

"Hey wait, are you going to her?"

"No, she wants to be left alone. I'll talk to her when she gets back."

"Jesse?" She turned. "If you talk to Brennan tell him that you not are going to bombard her with questions or pressure her to tell anything. She'll talk when she's ready, okay?"

"Okay, even though I don't understand why you think we would do that."

"I don't. I just want to make sure that you don't do it. You never know." She walked off.

-


End file.
